I Am The Gimp -- Injury Report, and Life on the DL

[xraytheenforcer]

Naw, not the Down Low. The Disabled List. I done went and fucked up my ankle** this afternoon, and now I can't even hobble around the house without Doug's help. I'm trying to remain upbeat -- hey! I can now demand to watch Pride and Prejudice in its various forms because, dammit, I need the psychic comfort. But in reality I am super-fucking bummed out. What a fucking mess. I hate being a cripple.

At least Doug has been ultra awesome about things -- hauling my ass around the house, fixing dinner, wrapping my foot, bringing me water and ice packs. Thanks, hon. :)

**I am mostly sure it isn't broken, but it's a really severe sprain, and is swollen like the Sta-Puft marshmallow man. I predict that by tomorrow it will be 60 glorious shades of crimson, purple and blue,

Comments

[blanchemains.livejournal.com]

You need some cream called Arnica Montana. You get it at the health food store. Excellent for soft tissue injuries like yours- in fact my boss gives it to his lipo patients. (If you ever saw what a person looks like after having lipo you would understand! It makes the ugliest bruises ever!)

Seriously, it will help your sprain heal in half the time or less.

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

I'll check this out. Thanks, Sonja.

commiserations

[parrismcb.livejournal.com]

if needed, I can send you the url for the cane company rohanna uses. I got a very elegant folding cane from them in just a few days. Lots of patterns and styles.

What floor is the new apartment on?

here's to a quick recovery and extra love goin' out to Mr X for taking good care of you.

Re: commiserations

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

I'll drop you a PM on the boards, too, but yes, a cane sounds like an awesome idea, so I'd love to get that URL.

Many thanks, Parris, and I send extra love vibes to your knee.

[babylibra7.livejournal.com]

Aww Martha baby...I'm so sorry!!! At least you have Doug there. Is there any way you can Fed Ex him to me to teach Kris some lessons before I get too big I can't walk? :p

Please??

Stay off the foot ASAP, and RICE RICE RICE it. My orders.

Rest
Ice
Compression
Elevation

(Just incase you didn't know or remember. :p)

Love, hug, kisses, and well wishes sending your way...

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

I have been doing the RICE bit since it happened. After I knew (like 2 seconds later) that it wasn't just a quick twist, he bought a huge bag of ice at a gas station, and I iced it all the way back to Brooklyn, then went immediately to bed and elevated/iced it for a few hours.

As soon as my ankle is working again, I'll send Doug out as a drill instructor.

[catrionamacnair.livejournal.com]

Fuck :(

Get better soon!

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

thanks, mo.

[eefster.livejournal.com]

Oh no! I'm so sorry, Martha. I second Parris on the cane -- not only will it help you get around on your own again, but I bet you could do a mean Diana Trent impression. Besides, then you can whack the deputy editor around as well! "Oh no, I'm sorry, I'm still getting the hang of this thing, did I put it down on your foot?"

:p

Anyway, lots of love and good wishes and healing vibes being sent your way. And just remember: "This Mr. Stay Puft is okay. He's a sailor, he's in New York. We get this guy laid, we won't have any trouble."

[regina-of-york.livejournal.com]

Listen to Eefa, she is wise. You'd make an awesome Diana Trent. And your editors could use a good swift smack with a cane! In fact, even once you've healed, you shouldn't let on, just continue using it for effect.

Now that I think about it, my dad used to have a cane with a rapier hidden in the handle. I could loan it to you, if I could find the thing.* Two weapons in one! Stick 'em with the pointy end!

*pauses to wonder if one is actually allowed to mail swords, or if the postal service would, well, go postal about it ;-P

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

hahaha nice one on the Diana Trent, Eef. And the Ghostbusters quote. hahahaha.

a cane with a rapier? that is probably not wise, as I would be tempted to run my enemies through, and a sprain in jail ain't such a good idea.

[icemannorth.livejournal.com]

So sorry, Martha. Get some rest and get better. Follow the advice of those posting ahead of me.

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

shall do.

[knightofredempt.livejournal.com]

That sucks babe, I send you healing vibes and a virtual cuddle.

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

merci mille fois. and I send "back healing vibes" your direction. gods, we are a wounded bunch, aren't we?

[knightofredempt.livejournal.com]

We are indeed, but you know what they say don't you?.....YOU DON'T? shit I wasn't listening either.

[regina-of-york.livejournal.com]

Hope it heals quickly! In the meantime, I'm glad Doug is there to help you out so you can rest that ankle. You have him bringing you some medicinal cocktails, I hope?

Oh, and may I suggest you watch Sense and Sensibility as well? It even has damsels suffering from twisted ankles, after all. You and hubby can act out the romantic "rescue the maiden and carry her home" scenes. ;-P

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

S&S -- great call. I've not been drinking medicinal cocktails because I'm hopped up on other drugs to bring down the inflammation. just trying to give my liver a fighting chance, here. ha.

[eefster.livejournal.com]

I happen to have a soft spot for Persuasion as well, if you can get your hands on it. Ciaran Hinds in a uniform, can you go wrong? [I also love the transformation of Anne, which is subtle yet more pervasive than, say, Emma or Maryanne or many of her other heroines.]

[suzgrad.livejournal.com]

Oh no! I empathize way too deeply. Good for Doug. (And good for P&P! That'll take up a few days.)

I'm definitely cautious with these things now, but have you thought about making sure it's just a normal sprain? Ron may have told you about my trials after I got back from Germany with a newly messed up ankle and hadn't gone to the doctor, because I thought it was just a bad strain. I won't go into it now, but things would have been, and still would be, ever so much better if I'd made sure my foot wasn't broken and things weren't torn (and used crutches so I didn't walk on it for a while). On the other hand, some have suggested that I'm cursed to have complications with every health problem or surgical procedure that my body ever encounters.

Another idea, if you have digital cable and can get them to turn on the sports package. The Tour de France just started yesterday, and it makes for great distraction through extended hours of viewing time. It's amazing how watching people bicycle for hours at a time can become intense. Wow--I just realized I know this because that's what I did after I messed up my ankle. It's been.. 1 week shy of two years.

Good luck sleeping on your healthy side!

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

If it doesn't get significantly better in a couple of days, I'll go to the doctor. This is, oh, the 4th time I've arsed up an ankle (same ankle for 3 of those times) so I'm passingly familiar with the routine. But I'll keep the advice in mind, and if things don't start improving, I'll find myself an orthopedist. :)

or maybe my foot will just mortify and fall off. [/ tom sawyer ]

[suzgrad.livejournal.com]

Eek!

Um.. at least that means you're already experienced at dealing with this?

[guineaus.livejournal.com]

I'm sorry you hurt your ankle, love the idea of watching all the different Pride and Prejudices, but totally can relate to hating not being mobile

[fenryng.livejournal.com]

Pride and Prejudice? Which one do you prefer, the one with Colin Firth or the one with Kiera?

How is your ankle doing? I read about the traitorous sidewalk. Are you able to hobble, yet? ICE IT! Granted, you probably are already, but hey....

I actually understood Aoife's Trent reference. Arguably my favorite BBC sitcom of that genre, although Chef wasn't bad. His verbiage was okay, but he just didn't have the right level of utter dripping sarcasm tone that she did. :-)

And, As Time Goes By, of course. Love that one too.

[rudbekia.livejournal.com]

I think that you should read this book while you recover. And then invite me to the next party.

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

That is an excellent book, as is its companion. :) (I bought them for Doug a couple of years ago).

And I will definitely invite you to the next party.

[the-corbie.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear this babe. Hope it gets better quickly. *hugs*

[hereward77.livejournal.com]

Sorry to hear that, Martha. I wonder, are we really as above average in the accident prone stakes as we seem? I hope you, at least, didn't contribute to your own downfall. ;)

[xraytheenforcer.livejournal.com]

my own idiocy (I was not watching where I was walking) led to my current gimpy state. I was sober, however.

[lacyintx.livejournal.com]

OW OW OW!!! So sorry to hear this, X. Feel better soon!

[sermelt.livejournal.com]

Shit Martha , I hope you are feeling a little better by now and you tracked down some arnica cream ( yeah verily sometimes hippy shit works ) .

We really all have to stop hurting ourselves - are we THAT latently masochistic ...

[bassmike.livejournal.com]

Wasn't 07/07/07 supposed to be lucky? Sheeit. Please go see the doctor if things aren't better by today.